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The Wise Have It
Transcript Piglet: Oh, dear. I know I've forgotten something. Since very small animals have very short memories. I must've forgotten to remember something. Water the rhododendron? No. Shine the woodwork? No. Wax the floor? Noo-oo! (Crash) Piglet: Oh, dear. Since I've remembered everything else, there's only one thing I could've forgotten. Why, it must be Pooh's birthday. Oh, dear. Rabbit: Hmm. If these tomatoes were any smaller... or any greener they'd be olives. Something is most definitely wrong. Oops! Piglet: Perhaps Rabbit can help me plan Pooh's birthday. Tigger: Hiya, Piglet, old pal. What brings you to this neck of the woods? Piglet: Well, actually, I remembered something very, very important and I need your help. Rabbit: What is it, Piglet? Piglet: Well, you see, today... By which I mean this day... is Pooh's birthday. Rabbit: Oh, my, Piglet, you're right. Today must be the day. Tigger: 'Cause it wasn't yesterday, and tomorrow's the day I rearrange my sock drawer. Rabbit: This is extraordinary. We have to organize a party immediately. Tigger: And a birthday cake! Piglet: Maybe a few balloons? Tigger: And a birthday cake! Rabbit: And perhaps some games. Tigger: And a... Rabbit: Yes, Tigger, a birthday cake. (Gasps) Oh, dear. But I don't have any candles. Tigger: Why, a cake without a candles it's positively "unbirthday-akle." Rabbit: In the case, we'll just go out and find some candles. On his birthday, nothing is too good for our Pooh. My, my, my, Pooh's birthday. A good thing I have these emergency candles. Better take a few more just to be on the safe side. Piglet: Fortunately, for a very small animal, I have a very large fear of the dark. Perhaps I'd better take a few more, just to be on the safe side. Tigger: Can't have a party without candles. Hoo-hoo. Better take a few more, just to... (Mutters) Well, there's gotta be some reason. Rabbit: There. One birthday cake for our birthday Pooh. Tigger: Hoo! I knew buddy bear was havin' a birthday. I just didn't know he was havin' so many. Rabbit: Why, with all these candles, it appears that our friend Pooh... is much older than we thought. Piglet: The last time I saw a cake with this many candles on it... Was at Christopher Robin's birthday. Tigger: Yeah. And Christopher Robin was the only one smart enough to count 'em all. Say, if buddy bear's that much older than we thought, he must be that much smarter too! Rabbit: Now, now, Tigger, we mustn't jump to conclusions. Tigger: So let's jump over the Pooh's and let him know what a genius he is. Hoo-hoo! Piglet: Won't Pooh be surprised when he finds out how old he is? Rabbit: He'll be even more surprises when he finds out how smart he is. (Tigger, Piglet, Rabbit) Surprise! Pooh: My, this is a surprise! Piglet: We brought you this cake because I remembered that I think I forgot that today is your birthday. Ooh. Why, just look at all those candles, Pooh. Tigger: Yeah. And you're older than we thought. Rabbit: And so much smarter too? Pooh: Well, since I didn't know I was so old. I suppose I wouldn't know I was so smart either... I think. Ah, perhaps we can discuss this over a smackerel of cake. Rabbit: Pooh bear, you've certainly kept your extraordinary intelligence a secret. Pooh: Yes, Rabbit. Even I didn't know about it. Rabbit: Perhaps you could help me with a little gardening question. Should I plant my tomatoes next to the parsnips or the artichokes? Pooh: Ohh. Well, that would depend... on how the tomatoes feel about it, don't ya think, Rabbit? Rabbit: Why, yes, Pooh, I suppose that it would. Tigger: Confidentially speakin, Pooh boy. What's the best way for me to cover more ground with my bouncin'? Pooh: Oh. Well, I should think... that to cover more ground, when you bounce up... (Chuckles) Just don't come back down. Tigger: (Gasps) What do ya know? Old buddy bear really is a genius! Piglet: Pooh, I don't wanna bother someone as smart as you. But how long should I take with my spring cleaning? Pooh: Well, it would take you a very long time to clean all of spring, Piglet. There's an awful lot of it outside today. Piglet: Clean all of... spring? Oh, dear! Rabbit: Pooh bear, thank you. I can hardly wait to tackle that garden now. Tigger: Hoo! And just wait 'til you see the ground I cover. Piglet: I guess I'd better get started right away. Pooh: I'm so glad that you're glad. And now for some cake. (Door Closes) Pooh:Perhaps I should save the candles for later, just to be on the safe side. Rabbit: According to Pooh, if I want to know where to plant my tomatoes, it would depend on how they feel about it. And the only way I can know how a tomato feels... is to feel like a tomato. (Tigger Bouncing) Tigger: Ya-hoo-hoo! (Crash) Owl: Oh, Piglet. So good to see you. Piglet: And you too, Owl. Owl: You seem to be very busy, Piglet. Piglet: Thanks to Pooh, I'm busy with my spring cleaning. Owl: But doesn't spring cleaning usually occur inside one's home? Piglet: Not according to Pooh, he is now a bear with a very large brain, Owl. Owl: You mean our Pooh? (Hammering) Piglet: Please excuse me, Owl. But so much spring keeps falling off the trees. Good-bye. Tigger: Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look out below! (Crash) Tigger: Hiya, Owl. Just thought I'd drop by. Owl: Tigger, I've just heard the most extraordinary news. Pooh is a very smart bear. Tigger: Yeah, and it was a good thing I was there to tell him about it. Sorry, Owl. Can't hang around here all day, ya know. This stayin' up stuff is trickier than it looks. Ya-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! (Crash) Owl: (Hoots) So Pooh is a very smart bear? Rabbit: The smartest, Owl. Owl: My word, who said that? Rabbit: I did. Owl: Talking tomatoes? Rabbit: No, no. It's me, Rabbit. I only look like a tomato. And it's because of Pooh. He's smarter than we realized. (Rustling) Rabbit: Did you hear that? It sounded like a tomato. Don't start talking until I get there! Owl: Well, well, how delightful. Now I can converse with Pooh on a higher plane. However, one cannot assume intelligence too lightfly. Perhaps a few tests of our new smarter friend Pooh are in order. Pooh: Are you certain you wouldn't care... for just one more taste of my "What-a-surprise" birthday cake, Owl? Owl: Why, thank you, Pooh bear. But first, if you don't mind, I have a few questions I'd like to ask you. If I have five pots of honey, and I take away three pots. How many pots of honey do I have left? Pooh: Not enough for dinner, I'm afraid. Owl: Hmm. Perhaps Pooh is smarter... than I first suspected. Rabbit: Surely one of these tomatoes will talk to me. (Clears Throat) Rabbit: I've always been known as a good listener. So, who would like to start? Piglet: (Sweeping) A place for everything and everything in its place. Oh, my! This is most certainly in the wrong place. (Rumbling) Rabbit: I heard that! Which one of you was it? Piglet, what are you doing with that tomato? Tigger: Look out belo-ow! Not a bad landin' space. Thanks, Rabbit. Rabbit: That does it! It's high time we spoke with Pooh bear about his very smart advice... Which may not have been so very smart after all! Tigger: You're right, long ears! Too bad we didn't think about doin' that before we followed Pooh's advice. Rabbit: Pull! Pooh: If I'd known you were coming, Rabbit, I'd have built a bigger door. (Squeaking) (Crash) Rabbit: Pooh, I must have a word with you about your very smart advice. Pooh: And what word would that be, Rabbit? Rabbit: Just one: IT DIDN'T WORK! Piglet: Pooh, Rabbit is a little concerned... That the very smart advice you gave may not have been so very smart after all. Tigger: Yeah, and if you're not smart. What were all those candles doin' on your birthday cake? Pooh: Oh, yes! That reminds me. My birthday cake. There's still plenty to share. Rabbit: The candles! Why, there's only one. Tigger: Gasp! I'm seein' single. What happened to the rest of your "birthyday" cake? Piglet: And all the candles? Pooh: (Knocking) Oh, yes, I remember. Owl was asking me so many questions, that I worked up a very large appetite. So, I carefully placed all the candles... in this honey jar... for safekeeping. Tigger: Why, buddy bear. Do you know what this means? Pooh: (Chuckles) No. Tigger: It means that jar is very, very old. Why, it's "antique-a-fried!" Pooh: Why, thank you, Tigger. What a perfect birthday gift. An "antique-a-fried" honey jar? Rabbit: Does this mean that Pooh is not so very smart after all? Owl: It is my opinion that our friend Pooh bear... is the "Poohiest" bear I have ever known. Pooh: Oh, good. (Chuckles) Now that that's settled. Let's all enjoy this birthday... slice. Tigger: Yeah, Pooh boy. Now that's a "terrific-akly" smart idea. Piglet: And friendly too.